Wow.  This was five years ago.  I can’t believe five years have passed.

I last posted here shortly before I got on a plane to go to the Caribbean for the first time.

I last posted three months after my father died and two months after my first grandchild was born.

I last posted here four months before my mother’s sister, Jenirva, died and five months before my first official nervous breakdown (major depressive episode without psychotic component).

Five months after the previous post I came to an emotional understanding that I was sexually molested as a child.  I still consider my mother’s sister as either one of my abusers or a direct facilitator of sexual abuse for me.

Therein lies the rub…I can only remember one episode of sexual assault in my childhood and that didn’t even involve penetration (at least I don’t think so).

Sometimes believing in sexual abuse is like believing in God.  It just has to be taken on faith.  You just have to believe it’s true because that kernel inside you tells you that it happened even though you have no empirical evidence to back up your conviction.

I can believe in God and Jesus Christ (although my definitions of same have certainly morphed, changed and grown in the 35 years since I met Christ) without empirical evidence to support my conviction.

I can believe in the truth of my understanding that I was serially sexually molested by someone (or more than one someone) when I was a kid despite seminal fluid or DNA to support me.  I know it happened.  I just don’t happen to remember it.

God has exercised great irony in my life, thrown many trials in my path.  I can still support her without evidence.  I can believe in her.

I can believe in me.


Blogger Problems

Can I tell you, it's really frustrating when I can't access my Blogger blog, which is my main blog? And I just found a new toy I want to add to my sidebar, a Media Matters news box. Thanks to Sandra, at Forgiving Nature, for the idea. I'll get it on Blogger eventually!

Oh, and I've saved another blog name on blogger…Claiming my Inner Bitch. Thought it was appropriate. Maybe I should reserve it here, too!

My Two Thumbs

I need to post about gardening. I'm sorry. I know you've probably had it about waist-high by now with people's gardening posts. Imagine how you'll feel come July! This one might be a little different, though.

I have two thumbs. I've always had two thumbs. I was born that way. I've only just figured out that they are different colors, though. I have one thumb which is green, and getting brighter green each year. Since I'm right-handed, that must be my green thumb. I use my right, green thumb for my outdoor gardening. Gardening is my newest passion.

I have a brown thumb,too. I guess that must be my left. I reserve my left thumb for indoor gardening. I am death to any houseplant. You name it, I've killed it. I've killed things that no one is supposed to be able to kill. I finally killed a plant that had survived laying out of the pot with its roots exposed for a month. I have, so far, a 100% success rate killing houseplants. Name one athlete or politician that can claim numbers like that. And my 'work' was done without steroids though there might have been some 'pork' involved.

… continue reading this entry.

Where are You?

 On the political spectrum.

 Imagine that. I am a…

You are a
Social Liberal
(81% permissive)

and an…

Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Okay, I tried posting the chart twice and it just doesn't want to show up. An interaction problem between OK Cupid and WordPress I don't yet understand? Who knows. I became a little more economically liberal the second time around but still fall squarely in the left-leaning Socialist quadrant. As it always was, so it always shall be.

Thanks to Scott at wanton deconstruction for pointing me to the OK Cupid Politics Test. 'Twas fun! I needed that.

Feeling my way around

Well, I like the posting setup. So far, so good. I've been playing around with the sidebar and running into all sorts of wonderful folks across the country. You see my categories and links are beginning to blossom. My, but it's like spring in here! I think I need a lovely green layout to celebrate the season!

Let's explore!

Oh My, Another Blog!

I just happened on to WordPress this morning and, boom, I have a new blog! Who knew this service was free? I'll play around with this and see how I like it for future, more (or less) serious, blogging. I do have those domain names, after all…